“So I’ve decided to get get fat!”
For part 1 of this topic I will be talking about my personal thoughts on the aesthetic changes to my body. For part 2 I will talk about the strength changes and picking a weight class.
Everyone I know has SOME sort of grievance with their body, and I’m no exception. Before I started lifting , all I could focus on was my belly ‘pooch’ and my small boobs. My mom and sister are very large chested and thick legged, so I joke I got my dad’s body. I didn’t start lifting for the gainz though. To me, it just sounded like a lot of fun (~proof of craziness intensifying~)! It was June 2011 and I got hooked almost immediately.
I tried really hard to not gain weight at first. I didn’t want to lose my abs! I have a small appetite so this part wasn’t a struggle. I got decently strong in the 1st few years, going up from 110 to 117. I still wasn’t happy with my body though. My pooch from before lifting was gone, but now my focus had shifted to my ‘large’ waist. Now my waist is not naturally small, but it’s far from large either. My abs were very visible but I felt like a block.
I realized that the only way to make my body look less blocky to me was to build my legs, especially my quads. My legs were strong. I got to the point I could squat 315 and pull 405, but without adding calories I couldn’t add mass. I decided to try and bulk that winter.
It took my forever to actually have a successful bulk (gain more than 5 lb) because I suck so hard at eating. I finally did it though last winter and gained 10 lb! My stomach was a bit softer, and for the first time I didn’t care about that. I developed more cellulite than ever and I didn’t give a fuck. I had a goal, grow bigger legs, and I didn’t mind the body changes I didn’t want because what I did want outweighed it.
I had to begrudgingly cut back down for worlds. After that I bulked back up, gained all the weight again and then some. I have cellulite and a softer tummy again, and that ok. I achieved my goal to bulk up my legs a bit. Now my next goal is to maintain and recomp for a year or 2. Then I will bulk again, repeat. This is the most happy I have ever been with my body 🙂
For everyone worried about aesthetics, try picking one goal at a time and focus on it as best you can. Having reachable goals really helped me be more confident in my body and not focus on the negatives because I know what is in my power to change once I set my next goal. For the things I can’t change, I focus on the positives about them. I don’t mind my small boobs anymore. I can go braless without pain, they are super perky so I can wear dresses that you can’t wear bra, and I will probably never have much sagging. My waist my never be very narrow when you look from the front, but it is hella strong and I probably wouldn’t be as good a lifter if it wasn’t as thick. I’m not perfect with being upbeat about the things I don’t like and can’t change, but it’s a big improvement.